It's been a good month. Ever since I decided to actually deal with reality and face my fears it all has started to feel so much better. I knew this day would come, when it all slipped away and became my new life. It took 1,5 year to get here. But I knew there is no way to rush it. It has to take time sometimes. And it did. And it helped.
I feel like I am really in a big new chapter of my life. I have started a new job, I feel home in Cape Town again, I have chosen the friends I wanted to keep and I have slowly started to open up my mind about the idea of me in a relationship again. I feel alive again. The numbness that I felt for so many months is slowly fading away.
I do not regret many things in life, everything happens for a reason and wherever I end up every little thing on the way has been part of me getting there. Nothing is pointless. Everything leads to the next thing in life.
I have 2 more months in CT before I do 3 months in Sweden again. I feel, as always, very confused about it but I need to go to Sweden for several reasons. Friends, family, kids at work, money. There we go. One day I might just stay in CT 12 months a year and just go home for short vacation in summer. But for now, this is the way I need to do it. I do not complain. Sweden is a good place to charge the batteries at. I love Cape Town but it is sometimes energy draining somehow.
I said I was gonna update here more, but we will see about that. Every time I feel like writing I will. But no pressure. I am writing for ME mostly, then YOU can all get a touch of where I am in life...
Have a GREAT sunday all.
